Staying positive

In this insane world, staying positive is the way to stay sane. Recession, conflicts etc.

And I am really sick of entertainment news. Naked pictures, divorces, breakups. Are they a reflection of what the society has become? and i hope the public doesn't follow suit with this trend in showbiz. Fame and glory often get the worst out of people. My perspective of showbiz. I love movies, songs and drama. I admire their singing and acting skills but i chose to ignore about what they do in their private life. Sometimes, when what you see doesn't go in parallel with what you thought it would be, it can be very disappointing.

Staying positive in my own little ways is how I cope with the depressing moments in everyday life. I love reading quotes from motivational website and I write the outstanding ones in my "motivation" notebook (*haha*) with the tot of passing it down to my kids next time.

And I look after my body very well, ignoring the fact that i just recovered from a very bad flu a few weeks back. I have learnt that to love someone else, one has to learn how to love him/herself first. I run twice per week, swim once per week, gym once per week and do my own static exercises everyday. And fruits after every meals is also a must. Even my friends at work are disgusted with my regime. On a random note, I most probably will be running for my company in the Armour formation road relay which i think we will get trashed by the regulars and NSFs. But exercising is really a good way to stay positive. THe hormonal stuff. Joining events is one of the way to stay motivated to exercise to stay positive. I have almost one running event every month. At least there's one way for me and my army buddies to stay connected and stay fit together. I always feel good when people at work asked me whether I just orded. Company outing this fri and I am going to bring my little cousin together because they having a kite flying session. So when i responded that I will be bringing a 7 year old kid, my female colleague replied me for the first time after so many confirmation emails last time, "WAH.. i didn't know what you have a kid already." So i decided to play along and replied, " yah..those were the heydays... didn't really tot of the consequences of my actions... anyway the mom is not coming because she is preparing for her exams."

Today is really a nice day to nua at home after sleeping in late... Reached home at 2 after a chilling out session at timbre Arthouse. Playing the stupid yet fun drinking games, chit chatting about life and getting to know each other better.

And so it's time alone... to rest and reflect... for a new week with a positive attitude to face new challenges.

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Negativity: Don't Even Think of It
With practice, you can learn to recognize your repetitive and negative thoughts. And keep them from becoming all-consuming.

By: Kathleen McGowan

Life would be much easier if we had perfect control over our thinking—especially where emotions are concerned. We could quickly forget about the people who make us frustrated or angry and allow disappointments to fade into the past without recriminations.

But in reality, this kind of emotional equanimity is rare. Most of us spend a lot of time thinking over unpleasant feelings and mulling over regrets and resentments. Unfortunately, many of these mental interpretations of our feelings make us feel worse about the situation. What started out as a small hurt or frustration, amplified by a thought process that focuses on pain and anger, may balloon into a major preoccupation.

Our minds often repeat painful thoughts or scenarios over and over, even when we'd much rather let them go. If you start paying attention to your interior monologue, you may find that you are dwelling on the ways your parents let you down, angry at someone who has hurt you, afraid of the challenges you face in the future, or ashamed that you haven't yet done the things you'd planned to in life.

You'd rather stop all of these thoughts in their tracks—but that's much easier said than done. Instead, you're left feeling as if there's something wrong with you: Why can't I just get over it? Why can't I just relax and be happy?

Generally, when you try to squelch one of these distressing trains of thought—or "just get over it"—your strenuous efforts to suppress it only make things worse. Research has shown that if we actively try to prevent anxiety-provoking or frightening thoughts, they generally become more powerful and harder to ignore. As a result, mental "fix-it" strategies generally backfire, whether that's trying to deny your unhappiness, avoiding the situations or people that make you anxious, or drinking to numb the feelings.

Accepting the negative feelings and learning to distance yourself from the thoughts that amplify them can be a much more effective coping strategy, says psychologist Stephen Hayes of the University of Nevada in Reno. In his book Get out of Your Mind and Into Your Life, he outlines a number of techniques from cognitive psychology that can help you resist getting lost in painful thoughts. With practice, you can learn to recognize your repetitive thoughts, and hold them at arm's length.

A few of Hayes' suggestions:

Practice noticing your thoughts. Try to be conscious of where your mind leads you, and label the type of thought you're having to yourself. For example, if you've made a mistake at work and are feeling bad about it, think to yourself: "I've noticed that I'm focused on my error right now."

If you're feeling stupid about the mistake, say to yourself: "Right now, I'm criticizing myself."
If you find that one particular thought or phrase is running through your head—I'm a loser" or "She screwed me over," for example—try saying your troubling thought out loud, and either very slowly or in a funny voice. It seems silly, but by doing this, you're actively separating yourself from your mental soundtrack. You remind yourself that these thoughts are being generated out of a mental habit.

Try thinking of your mind as just another organ of your body. If you find yourself preoccupied by fears, imagine that your brain is just like your hungry stomach when it rumbles, or your feet when they're tired after a long day. Think: "There goes my mind again, worrying about something trivial."

Think of your self-destructive or self-critical thoughts as Internet pop-up ads. Don't criticize them or yourself for having them. Just think of them as unnecessary, meaningless noise.

All of these tactics are ways to become aware of your inner mental monologue without either getting caught up in it or trying to shut it down. Distancing yourself from your difficult thoughts can help you learn to stop turning small problems into dilemmas that seem all-consuming or hopeless.

Psychology Today Online,
23 September 2005
Last Reviewed 16 Jan 2008
Article ID: 3859