大年初一

A new year into the year of Rat (Rats sound disgusting.. shall we name it Year of the mouse)! And finally, I am out of the 犯太岁year. It is said that if you happen to be the same 生肖as the year, you will 犯太岁. So this year, all the " MOUSE" people, you are in for a trying year! GOod luck.

I wasn't that superstitious. Perhaps because of the 犯太岁thingy, you will tend to associate all the bad happenings with it.

Last year wasn't a very good one for me, I think so. But i am glad that all these happened though. Through all these, I grew to someone Stronger, more cheerful, more carefree, more relaxed. Not that life before that was that bad, I do have my sweet moments.

ALways have this mentality that a person won't change that much but I guess the world out there is just too messy. Just hope i won't change. Even if i have to, I hope to be someone better! Trust is really something which once broken takes a long time to recover. Till now, I still don't know whether I should believe.

I still recall that first 9 months, everyday was really very sucky. That scene just kept on repeating... together with that conversation... i was wondering how life can go on from there. Damn Depressed, damn disappointed, Freaking unmotivated. My weight dropped like crazy, nearly quit my IA and my results flopped like nobody's business (it is still dropping though...haha) Looking back, I am so glad everything seemed so far away. It was this day a year ago.

Over the year, I did things which I wouldn't do last time. I joined guitar, YEP to Cambodia etc. I met more people and expanded my tiny social circles. Guess life really took a turn after the trip to Cambodia. It really changed my perspective of life. Perhaps interacting with the VERY young members in my team changed it. Life is really much more than what I used to believe in. Furthermore, seeing the cambodians in the village, they are so happy when they don't have as much as we have in Singapore. But they are so happy by just playing the same games over and over again, bathing in brown river water, sleeping in insect infested houses (a bit exaggerated), living in places where the lights can go off any moment, studying in schools with no aircons and perhaps onli a few sets of desktops... we are just so lucky... I missed the days over there man..

The year ahead is filled with uncertainties. I am at the crossroad of my life! I am going to graduate in less than 3 months! I have to say that while I was about to click to File for graduation, the memories in school just flashed by. Being late for lectures and tutorials, leaving lectures and tutorials halfway through it when I got very pek chek cos i don't understand a single thing, mugging at my fav seat in Central lib, using the coms at CBLC, eating at Engin and arts canteen (anyway arts' drink store used to sell Deserts in the bubble tea cups.. we used to call it Cheng Teng in a cup..), squeezing up the A1 or A2 shuttles, mugging in my PGP room and last but not least, NUSSU's futile effort to garner support... So nostalgic!

The post damn emo la. CAn't stand it. haha.. Hope my plan for a new job goes well as planned. Risks must be taken i guess. Jump off cliffs to build my wings on the way down!